Guess we woke up this morning in the mood to piss off some rich people.
The Indian Creek Country Club is Miami-Dade County’s most exclusive, and controversial, private society. Even the millionaires and billionaires of Indian Creek Village, the island just west of Surfside where the club is located, are trying to bankrupt the joint. The ICCC has caught so much flack for apparently discriminating against Jews that even then-Gov. Jeb Bush — not exactly Rosa Parks when it comes to sticking up for minorities — boycotted the club.
In short, nobody much likes the place — except for the members. But we don’t know who that is because the club keeps its membership roster private. Or at least it tries to.
We’ve obtained a fascinating document: the club’s 1998-1999 “Year Book and Club Roster.” Not only does this little booklet allow us impoverished bloggers a glimpse of a life of weird, idle luxury we’ll never experience firsthand — “Helicopter Landing Regulations”, pg. 15; “An automatic $5.00 Hole-in-One charge has been established for our lady golfers”, pg. 49 — but also it lists every member of the club in a directory in its back pages.
We’re not really fancy enough to know who all of these people are, but we do recognize a few names. Gus Machado — that’s the guy whose name is on the trunk of our car! Julio Iglesias — he makes our abuela swoon! There’s billionaire guy Carl Icahn, one of the few Jewish-Americans said to be on the club’s rolls. And, of course, the Shulas: Donald, Mary Anne, and the rarely seen-in-the-wild Michael.
It doesn’t matter much that this directory is 13 years old. Like Tony Soprano’s gang, the Indian Creek Country Club is kind of a for-life thing. (Unless you don’t pay your dues. Then it’s the YMCA for you.)
But because the list is from the pre-cell-phone age, we’re not too guilt-stricken about publicizing the phone numbers. Since we got our hands on it, we’ve tried to use numbers in the back of this book to call important people pertinent to various stories we’ve worked on. The closest we’ve gotten to reaching somebody was Don and Mary Anne’s maid.
So take a long gander, and when you get to the back of the book, let us know if you see any names you recognize.